I was hoping a prompt like this would come up. Too many things have been nostalgic for me lately.
When I was eight years old, I thought I had grown too old. At seven years old, I lived in a comfortable house, went to school (although I didn’t have many friends because of my inability to speak English) and watched reruns of Play School. Life was good; life was simple.
My mother looked at me strange when I confessed, at eight years old, I felt old. I felt as if the last good year had disappeared. I don’t think this is something most eight year olds feel, but that was me.
Now, I realise life has barely begun. Which is relieving but also scary. Although I live in the present, won’t look back, there are some things that inevitably take me back to my childhood.
Nothing takes me back as much as this song:
As a young girl, I used to love Barbie. No matter how many recent movies I’d watch, Rapunzel is, and always will be, my absolute favourite. This soundtrack is one of many beautiful ones created by Arnie Roth (one of my favourite composers of all-time).
I think it’s because I don’t live in the past that, when something unexpectedly does take me back, I feel so empty. Sometimes, when you miss something so badly, your chest hurts like somebody’s hitting you with a bowling bowl.
Sometimes, when there are millions of people around, I still feel lonely. It makes me realise just how alone I am. It may just be an only-child trait. Or something a person who moves around the whole world feels like.
Do you feel it too?