I Remember the Falling Rain

I remember gazing out my bedroom window, watching the rain cascade down the asphalt in a subtle, beautiful way. My window was blurred with raindrops, the clouds were a mellow silver, and car headlights shone through the water. I was mesmerised. For approximately ten minutes (which is possibly the greatest amount of time I’ve spent away from the computer), I just stood and watched the cars skid down. The world was a beautiful place.

I remember every afternoon after modern history where I’d just lie in my bed, trying to recover from the emotions suffocating me. Images of horror on civilian victims of the Vietnam war, all children, fleeing for their life; the unconcealed pain on African Americans as they were thrown aboard in the dark waters as the “ship was getting too heavy”; the dehumanisation and cruelty inflicted upon Jewish people during Nazi Germany, shattering their perception of home (“home” is not where you’re mercilessly slaughtered in concentration camps) –it all inks my mind with various strokes and symbols, as words cannot ever be enough.

I remember my New Years’ Resolution where I promised myself that I’d be more extroverted this year. I could comfortably sit in silence in a whole room of people and be perfectly content with a book; I am an introvert. However, recently I’ve discovered that “being myself” leads to loneliness, isolation and a constant fear of oblivion. I genuinely love people. Socializing tires me out, but I’m the happiest person alive when I’m talking to people –it’s worth the exhaustion.

I remember the first time I’ve visited a councillor this year where family dilemma and academic stress led to a breakdown. After listening to my feelings and problems, he offered advice I have, admittedly, forgotten. However, two things stuck in my mind. Firstly, he said from a quick psychological evaluation that I don’t want people to think anything’s wrong. Secondly, he said: “Remember, everyone is struggling. Usually when people come to me, they’re under the false impression they’re the only ones, but you are not alone.” I took a lot of things away from that session; I pray that I never have to return.

I remember somebody once told me, “Wow, you’re really close to your mum, aren’t you?” after noting how much I tell her. But here’s the truth: I tell her everything that doesn’t matter, and nothing that does.

I remember when I found a quote on the internet –“Our ability to relax is in direct proportion to our ability to trust.“~ Robert Anthony– and decided that I wanted to trust more. This post is one of the hardest one I’ve ever written and I still deleted half the information in it. But I’d like to think I’m taking a step, regardless of how small, forward to trusting other people.

I remember the falling rain, both literally and metaphorically, but now I only remember the beauty.

***

OTHER LOVELY MEMOIRS:

  1. Catherine Zhang
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  2. sherrylcook.com
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  3. One Man Versus the World
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  4. Brick Wahl
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  5. davidfetzer6271951
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  6. Obsessive Compulsive Running…….
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  7. Cloud Gatherings
    Daily Post – Memoir Madness
  8. Nitin Nair Writes
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  9. Epenthesis
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  10. …Of Course, this Could All Go Horribly Awry
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  11. pesimum
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  12. Sunshine Witch
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  13. Bumblepuppies
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  14. Pippakin Talks Cats, Dogs, Teeth and Claws
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  15. She’s Rambling
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  16. Beyond the Brush
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  17. Unguarded Moments
    That Time Charles Bronson Offered To Rub Suntan Lotion On My Back
  18. Beyond the Brush
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  19. Chapter Thirty Confessions
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  20. wannabedeenbuddy
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  21. Trisha’s Story’s Blog
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  22. Hot White Snow
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  23. Mad Meandering Me
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  24. intrinsickness
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  25. risingrave28
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  26. My Journey to Find Me
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  27. shadowdreamer
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  28. Rêveries of an Imagination Junkie
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  29. Among the Whispers
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  30. Musings of a Random Mind
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  31. A Little Fluff
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  32. Aisha’s Oasis
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  33. January’s Dream
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  34. A New Day: Living Life Almost Gracefully
    The Black Book
  35. Tinseltown Times
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  36. The truth was written on my wrist.
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  37. Bipolar For Life
    Talking Shop
  38. Mary J Melange
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  39. JED’s Playhouse
    Memories of love and madness
  40. Red’s Wrap
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  41. Confessions of A JazzyBelle
    An ode to my damn self
  42. Serendipity
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  43. Feasting & Fasting within life
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  44. Short…but not always so sweet
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  45. Mirrorgirl
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  46. A Voluptuous Mind
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  47. A New Voice, Slowly Recognized
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  48. Living, Breathing, and Surviving, and Coping with Mental Illness
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  49. Jill’s Scene
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  50. Master of Something I’m Yet To Discover
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  52. Rot & Poetry
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  53. Memoirs of a husk
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  59. Of Old Cars and Memory Land – Evelyne Holingue
  60. Damsel in a Dress
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  61. intrinsickness
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  62. Takeshi’s Flight
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  63. Rachel’s Rambles
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  64. Stuff my dog taught me
    Nostalgia is a Siren’s Song
  65. My Own Champion
    Summer Beckoned
  66. Eclectic Alli
    Finding Feminism: A Personal Reflection
  67. Inside the Mind of Isadora
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  68. Shadows
    The Realistic Fiction — A Memoir
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    The Realistic Fiction – A Memoir
  70. A Whirlwind of Thoughts and ETC
    Autumn Is
  71. A Hedonistic Wander
    C10.H14.N2
  72. shutter and ink.
    Memories
  73. Brick Wahl
    Raji’s
  74. A Blog’s Life
    The Forgotten
  75. The Daily Blabber
    It Was The Worse Day Ever
  76. Guide to Getting Lost
    The one where you fall in love.
  77. The Passion Dew
    The Muse of Love
  78. The Seeker
    The Power of One
  79. being mrscarmichael
    Love, Letdown and Toffees
  80. de monte y mar
    Presence: A Memoir
  81. Finale to an Entrance
    The Six Dollar Men
  82. The Day After
    Polka Dotted Friends
  83. Licht Thoughts
    The Darkest Brown
  84. Front Porches and Candlelight
    Wonder if the Pope takes rain checks
  85. erraticpandemonium
    Stillness: Living Around You
  86. Life’s Unfiltered Ramblings
    Memories and Imagination
  87. field of thorns
    Ephemeris 1841 ♉
  88. Bookmole’s Blog
    Memoir Madness
  89. Memoirs of a Mild Melodramatic
    Caught In A Web
  90. asnappshot
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  91. Those Lesser Parts – A Daily Post |
  92. helen meikle’s scribblefest
    Weekly challenge: Discarding the black jellybeans
  93. Thinking Languages!
    Memoir Madness! Playing with fire
  94. Suzie81 Speaks
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  95. In my world
    Writing 101:God, the serial killer that never gets caught (part 3)
  96. VernetteOutLoud
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  97. A Guide to Getting Lost
    The one about the roadtrip
  98. Polyprotic Amory
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  99. Just A Thought
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  100. Coded Transmissions
    Hey, College Roommate, This Is For You
  101. Chiquitita
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  102. My Infernal Imagination
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  103. Following My Joy
    My Grandmother, Her Funeral and One Missing Button
  104. An Upturned Soul
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  105. Glorious Results Of A Misspent Youth
    Mice and Rats and Rodents, Oh My!
  106. Glorious Results Of A Misspent Youth
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  107. Rideo, Ergo Supero
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  110. True Stories
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32 thoughts on “I Remember the Falling Rain

  1. Each of those memories listed could unfold into such gorgeous stories by themselves. Perhaps an inspiration for future posts? The one about your mother was like a song lyric: poetic, poignant and so true.

    • Thank you so much for stopping by! And for your kind words. 🙂
      I never thought about them as inspiration; great idea, I will definitely use it. Thank you! 😀

  2. Beautiful post, Ramisa, I love that quote about relaxing being equal to trust, it’s very true in my case, too. I love blogging because I don’t trust the people I know to tell them all that I can put in my posts. I’m super introverted too, so my blogging gives me a great little world where I can be me, and yet be more!
    Thanks for the link, and for sharing a wonderful slice from your memory cake, I like it a lot! ♥♥♥ ;^)

  3. Absolutely wonderful post, Ramisa. I thought you were talking about me- introvert and trusting people, two things I struggled with as a child. But yes, I’ve change a bit on these two qualities about me. I believe life means learning, enjoying and changing and if that change is for our betterment then we should. 🙂

  4. These are very inspiring memories. Thanks for linking my post about my own memories and yes, never forget everyone is fighting their battles. You are not alone and just taking steps like this one, sharing memories on your blog, will help you realise people out there share similar stories and can relate. Thank you for sharing with us!

    • Thank you so much, marz. And I think that’s the most wonderful part of blogging; I never realised that I’d connected to people on a personal basis. And indeed, everybody is fighting their own battles; it’s something I should never forget. 🙂

  5. Pingback: Court fixing up the past | litadoolan

  6. Beautiful words! Love the layout of your blog too; totally following you!
    Thank you for linking my post. I would love to have you read it and let me know your thoughts! Thanks! 🙂

  7. Falling rain…it is about perspective. Your post touched me because whatever you experienced, I have as well-to some degree.

    Rain, it soothes and nurtures plants. It does for us too, metaphorically speaking of course.

  8. Love your post! There’s always that dilemma about should we trust people and should we take risks and I sometimes say that we can’t be afraid of life. My advice to you is to be cautious but not too closed up, and try to find balance in everything. Trust is something people should earn:)

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