Steve: The Apple (Orange) of My Eye

In my chain of serious posts, I introduce a rather light-hearted addition with the wondrous Steve joining us today. During an eventful trip to my local library alongside family friends –specifically, a mother who had had two oranges tucked safely in their handbag and scrumptious tuna sandwiches– I was handed an orange that changed my life.

With glowing flesh resembling harmonious colours, as perceived by a blind man witnessing the world beyond for the first time, the orange stared at me with a watery smile. I named him Steve; he became my Steve.

A few delicate moments later, Steve and I travelled a world of prejudice, societal expectations and punctuality. We defeated any previous connotations that (wo)man and orange couldn’t be best friends without excessive feelings attached… one of cannibalism, in this instance (unfortunately, When Harry Met Sally can’t be applied in every situation).


Steve and I, on that glorious afternoon I will never forget.

But, alas, our differences proved too great; our lives trivialised against the harsh words of society, biting into veins in our fragile necks. This beautiful friendship couldn’t last. Expecting anything more would result in mere heartbreak, extensive suffering and a lifestyle condemned to doom.

With a deflating heart, I peeled his radiant outer-layer –so full of life and nutrition– and exposed the inner core, plump with emotion and choked laughter.

I ate him.


Regardless of our tragic end, Steve continues to always be the apple of my eye –yes, I am aware of the terrible irony whilst trying to make a pun. Nevertheless, let me remind you that this is entirely intentional (that wasn’t supposed to make you feel better, but myself). He will never be forgotten.






47 thoughts on “Steve: The Apple (Orange) of My Eye

  1. A clever, imaginative, and truly hilarious bit of writing. Thank you for brightening my own day. Steve sounded awesome! (And thanks for the link back as well.)

  2. Thanks for the pingback, Ramisa. I was wondering what kind of – an apple of my eye. I only kept reading to find there was an apple or an orange and then there was an undeniable action…eating. Very funny!

  3. Aw, now I’m wanting the adventures of you and Steve. We had a toy duck once that came with me on a birthday weekend trip to Paris. He went to Disneyland, the Musée d’Orsay, and had a lone adventure on a security conveyor belt because the guy didn’t believe it was just a duck. Poor duckie.

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